What Jewelry Do You Wear to a Funeral? A Guide to Understated Pieces
A funeral or memorial service calls for restraint — in your jewelry too. But what exactly is appropriate? In this guide you will read which necklace, earrings and bracelet suit a farewell, why pearls have traditionally been associated with mourning, and how an understated piece can later become a lasting keepsake of someone you loved.
The short version
- Keep it small and understated. A fine necklace, small stud earrings or a quiet bracelet — nothing more is needed.
- Choose sober colors. Soft gold-tone, silver-tone or pearl works better than bold and shiny.
- Avoid bling. No jangling bracelets, large earrings or bold statement pieces.
- Pearls are a classic. They have long been worn in mourning and are said to symbolize tears.
The rule of thumb: understated and modest
At a funeral you wear jewelry out of respect for the person who has died and for their family — not to stand out. The unwritten rule is simple: keep it subtle. Small, refined pieces round off a neat, sober look without drawing attention to yourself. Large or sparkling pieces quickly feel too festive for the occasion.
The rules used to be strict: during the first period of mourning, jewelry was not allowed to shine or sparkle at all. Today we are gentler about it, but the essence is the same. An understated piece that finishes your look is always appropriate; eye-catching jewelry is better left at home.
Which necklace do you wear to a funeral?
A fine, understated necklace may well be the most fitting piece of jewelry for a farewell. Go for a thin chain with a small, quiet pendant. If you are wearing a high neckline or a scarf, a short, subtle necklace sits best. Not sure about the length? Then also read our guide to necklaces for women and which length suits you.
Sofia — Necklace with ringsFine and minimalist, with a small subtle pendant. Quiet and refined.EUR 29.99
Melia — Fine necklaceA thin chain with a small heart. Available in gold-tone or silver-tone.EUR 27.95
Mathilde — Necklace with bowA refined, small bow. Subtle and timeless.EUR 19.95
See all the understated designs in the necklace collection.
Which earrings are appropriate?
For earrings the rule is: the smaller, the better. Small stud earrings are almost always a safe choice. A subtle knot, a little heart or a fine geometric shape looks neat without distracting. Large drop earrings or bold hoop earrings are better left at home for this occasion. You will find an overview of all the shapes in our guide to all types of earrings for women.
Noa — Knot stud earringsSmall and flat (0.6 x 1.2 cm / 0.24 x 0.47 in). Discreet and timeless.EUR 16.95
Cato — Heart stud earringsSmall solid hearts (6 x 8 mm / 0.24 x 0.31 in). Subtle and refined.EUR 27.99
Leanne — Geometric earringsClean and minimalist. Modern but quiet.EUR 25.00
You will find more small designs in the earring collection.
An understated bracelet
A bracelet is fine, as long as it is quiet and silent. Go for a fine chain or a thin band — not a stack of jangling bracelets. A single, classic bracelet finishes your outfit without making a sound during a quiet ceremony. Gold or silver: choose whatever matches what you already wear.
Ilona — Chain bracelet goldA minimalist chain. Quiet and neat.EUR 27.95
Yara — Chain bracelet silverA fine silver-tone chain. Silent and understated.EUR 27.95
See more quiet designs in the bracelet collection.
The meaning of pearls
Pearls have a special connection with mourning. For centuries they were the only jewelry considered appropriate at a funeral, because their soft sheen — unlike sparkling gold — does not draw the eye. According to an old folk belief, pearls also symbolize tears, which makes them an understated and meaningful choice for a farewell. If you have a pair of small pearl stud earrings or a pearl necklace at home, they are never out of place. No pearls? Then fine, sober stainless steel jewelry in gold-tone or silver-tone is a perfectly good alternative.
What is better left at home?
There are a few things you are better off leaving at home for a funeral. For comparison:
| Appropriate | Better not |
|---|---|
| A fine necklace or a pearl necklace | A large, eye-catching pendant or a choker covered in stones |
| Small stud earrings | Large hoop earrings or long drop earrings |
| A single, quiet bracelet | A stack of jangling bracelets or charms |
| Sober gold-tone, silver-tone or pearl | Bright colors and strongly sparkling pieces |
| A wedding or engagement ring, if you wear one | Several large rings at once |
Gold, silver or pearl?
All three are appropriate, as long as you keep it quiet. Soft gold-tone radiates warmth, silver-tone looks understated and cool, and pearls are the most classic choice for mourning. A handy rule of thumb: match the color to what you already wear, such as your wedding ring or your watch, so the whole look stays calm and coherent. Not sure? Then choose pearl or silver-tone — those read as the most understated. You can read more about this in our guide to which jewelry goes with which dress.
A lasting keepsake of someone you loved
A piece of jewelry can keep its meaning long after the farewell. More and more people wear an understated necklace, pendant or bracelet in memory of someone they miss — a tangible way to keep a loved one close. From the outside it is simply a beautiful, quiet piece of jewelry; only you know the deeper meaning.
In that case, choose something you can wear every day. Lundholm's stainless steel jewelry is waterproof and gentle on the skin, so you can keep it on day in, day out without it discoloring. That way the memory literally stays with you. You can read why good jewelry does not discolor in why does my necklace discolor.
Choosing a piece of jewelry after a loss is a personal thing. Take your time with it — there is no right or wrong, only what feels like the right keepsake to you.
Frequently asked questions
Can you wear jewelry to a funeral?
Yes. Jewelry is fine, as long as it is understated. Go for small, quiet pieces such as a fine necklace, small stud earrings or a single bracelet. Avoid large or sparkling jewelry that draws attention.
Which jewelry is most appropriate at a funeral?
A fine necklace (or pearls), small stud earrings and possibly a quiet bracelet. Pearls have traditionally been seen as the most fitting choice for mourning. Your wedding or engagement ring you of course simply keep on.
Can you wear gold to a funeral?
Soft gold-tone jewelry is perfectly fine, as long as it is small and understated. Avoid large, highly polished gold pieces. When in doubt, pearl or silver-tone reads as the most sober.
Why are pearls worn in mourning?
Pearls have a soft sheen rather than a sparkle, which means they do not draw the eye. On top of that, an old folk belief holds that they symbolize tears. That is why pearls were long considered the only appropriate jewelry at a funeral.
Which jewelry is better not worn?
Leave large hoop earrings, eye-catching pendants, stacks of jangling bracelets and brightly colored or strongly sparkling pieces at home. They quickly come across as too festive for a farewell.
Can you wear a piece of jewelry in memory of someone who has died?
Absolutely. Many people wear an understated necklace, pendant or bracelet as a lasting keepsake of someone they loved. Choose something you can wear every day; waterproof stainless steel jewelry is well suited to that.
What do you wear to a cremation?
The same guidelines apply as for a funeral: understated and sober. A cremation does not call for different jewelry than a funeral — small and quiet is always appropriate.
