What Jewelry Do You Wear to a Funeral? A Guide to Understated Pieces
To a funeral or cremation you wear small, understated jewelry: a fine necklace, small studs and at most one quiet bracelet. Pearls are the classic choice: they glow softly instead of sparkling and have long been associated with tears. Leave large, glittering and jingling pieces at home that day. In this guide you will find what is and isn't appropriate, and how a piece of jewelry can become a keepsake afterwards.
The short answer
At a funeral you wear jewelry out of respect, not to stand out. Keep it small, calm and quiet.
- Do: small studs (a pearl, a little ball or a very small stone), a fine necklace with a small pendant, one quiet bracelet and simply your wedding or engagement ring.
- Better not: large hoops, long drop earrings, statement pieces, bright colors, lots of sparkle and jingling charms.
- Pearls always work: one pair of pearl studs or a single pearl on a fine chain is the classic mourning jewel.
- Color: silver-tone looks the most understated, soft gold is fine too. Match what you already wear.
- Cremation: exactly the same guidelines apply as for a burial.
Pearls at a funeral: why they are so fitting
Pearls and mourning have gone together for centuries. In the nineteenth century the rules were strict: during the first period of mourning, jewelry was not supposed to shine or sparkle. Pearls were among the few pieces considered appropriate, because they glow softly rather than glitter. According to old folklore, they also symbolize tears. That is why pearls are rarely the wrong choice at a funeral.
Wear pearls to a funeral in an understated way: choose either small pearl studs or a single pearl on a fine chain. A classic pearl necklace works too, but keep it to one strand and leave out the rest of your jewelry. That keeps it calm and respectful.
Which earrings are appropriate for a funeral?
The smaller, the better. Small studs barely draw attention and still look polished: a pearl, a smooth little ball, a knot or a very small stone of 3 or 4 millimeters. That last one is perfectly fine; a stone that small reads as a point of light, not as bling. Leave large hoops, long drops and eye-catching shapes for another day. For an overview of all styles, see types of earrings for women.
Pictured
Nikki – a small point of light
A single cubic zirconia in a simple setting. Choose 3 or 4 mm: small enough to barely stand out, yet just polished enough. In silver-tone it looks extra calm.
View the Nikki →
Which necklace do you wear to a funeral?
A fine, thin necklace with a small pendant may be the most fitting piece for a farewell. At 40 to 45 centimeters it falls just below the collarbone, over a blouse or a fine-knit sweater. Wearing a turtleneck or a scarf? Choose a delicate chain that sits calmly on top, or skip the necklace and go for studs. One necklace is enough: save layering for another occasion. Not sure about the length? Read the guide to necklace types and lengths.
A bracelet: quiet and simple
A bracelet is fine, as long as it is quiet. During a ceremony you don't want jingling charms or a stack of bracelets clicking together. Choose one fine link bracelet or a smooth bracelet that sits calmly on your wrist. Keep your watch and wedding ring on as usual.
Gold, silver or pearl?
All three are appropriate, as long as you keep it small. Silver-tone looks cool and the most understated. Soft gold feels warmer and is just as fitting, as long as it isn't large or flashy. Pearls are the most classic. A handy rule of thumb: match the color to what you already wear, such as your wedding ring or watch, and keep everything in one tone. Wondering which color suits you best? Read gold or silver: which suits me better?
| Appropriate | Better not |
|---|---|
| A fine necklace with a small pendant or a single strand of pearls | A large pendant, a choker full of stones or several necklaces at once |
| Small studs: pearl, little ball or a tiny stone | Large hoops or long drop earrings |
| One quiet bracelet | A stack of bracelets or jingling charms |
| Silver-tone, soft gold or pearl | Bright colors and heavily sparkling pieces |
| Your wedding or engagement ring | Several large rings at once |
What do you wear to a cremation?
At a cremation or a quiet memorial service, exactly the same guidelines apply: small, calm and quiet. There is no special cremation jewelry you are expected to wear. If the family asks for something specific, such as a certain color or something cheerful in honor of the deceased, then of course you follow that wish.
And the jewelry of the deceased?
If the deceased is wearing jewelry, discuss with the funeral director what will happen to it. At a burial, jewelry can stay on. During a cremation, most jewelry melts in the heat; metals that remain are usually separated from the ashes afterwards and recycled. If you want to keep a ring, necklace or watch, arrange in advance for it to be removed and returned to the family.
Jewelry after a loss: a keepsake to wear
A piece of jewelry can keep its meaning long after the farewell. Many people wear something in memory of someone they miss. That can be a piece that belonged to the deceased, such as a ring on a fine chain or earrings you once received from them. It can also be a new piece with a small symbol that means something to you.
What is memorial jewelry?
Memorial jewelry, also called cremation jewelry or ash jewelry, holds a small amount of ashes, a lock of hair or a fingerprint of the deceased, usually in a sealed pendant or ring. You have it made through the funeral director or a specialized jeweler. Lundholm does not make memorial jewelry.
A simple piece with a meaning of its own
If you prefer a piece without ashes or hair, a simple piece can mean just as much. A locket that holds a small photo, a tree of life, or an open circle as a sign of connection. From the outside it is simply a beautiful, quiet piece of jewelry; only you know what it means.
Choose something you can wear every day. Stainless steel is waterproof and hypoallergenic, so you can keep it on in the shower and while working out. That way the memory is literally always with you.
Choosing a piece of jewelry after a loss is personal. Take your time. There is no right or wrong, only what feels like the right way to remember.
Frequently asked questions about funeral jewelry
Can you wear jewelry to a funeral?
Yes. Jewelry is fine as long as it is understated. Choose small, quiet pieces such as a fine necklace, small studs or one bracelet, and leave large or sparkly jewelry at home.
Can you wear pearls to a funeral?
Yes, pearls are actually the classic choice. They glow softly instead of sparkling and, according to old folklore, symbolize tears. Wear one pair of pearl studs or a single pearl on a fine chain.
Which earrings are appropriate for a funeral?
Small studs: a pearl, a smooth little ball, a knot or a very small stone of 3 or 4 mm. Leave large hoops and long drop earrings at home.
Can you wear gold to a funeral?
Yes, soft gold-tone jewelry is fine, as long as it is small and calm. If in doubt, choose silver-tone or pearl: they look the most understated.
What jewelry should you not wear to a funeral?
Large hoops, long drop earrings, eye-catching statement pieces, brightly colored stones, lots of sparkle and bracelets with jingling charms. They can easily come across as too festive.
What do you wear to a cremation?
The same as to a funeral: small, calm jewelry. A cremation does not call for different jewelry. If the family has a specific wish, follow it.
What happens to the deceased's jewelry during a cremation?
Most jewelry melts in the heat; metals that remain are usually separated from the ashes after the cremation and recycled. If you want to keep a piece, arrange with the funeral director in advance for it to be removed.
What is memorial jewelry?
Memorial jewelry, also called cremation or ash jewelry, holds a small amount of ashes, a lock of hair or a fingerprint of the deceased. You have it made through the funeral director or a specialized jeweler. Lundholm does not make memorial jewelry.
Can you wear jewelry in memory of someone who has died?
Absolutely. Many people wear a piece that belonged to the deceased, or a simple new piece with a meaning of its own, such as a locket with a photo or a tree of life. Choose something you can wear every day.
Looking for something small and understated?
Browse our small studs, fine necklaces and pearls.
